An Outstanding Masterpiece

A masterwork through and through. Every individual processing frame that makes up this interactive orgasm one could fathom to call a game is beautiful enough to be the face of God. Combined, their collective impact was so powerful my eyes began to bleed upon their first incidental glance upon this game and have continued to waterfall with the red plasma fluid ever since.

The game spins a tale thick with literary intrigue. I laughed. I cried. This game took me on an emotional roller coaster I'll never forget, and did it with so much originality and grace that is stands above anything witnessed by man prior. Each character is so powerfully developed they feel even more real than real people do. Smiley and his yellow circle shooting, paintbrush-looking appendage have touched my heart deeper than I previously thought any human being capable. Nay, the only way to accurately imagine how deeply I was touched is to imagine the hand of smiley piercing my heart completely and reemerging on the other side, my organs filled with rapture as they slowly empty of their fluids. After playing this game I'm left questioning more whether my own colleagues and acquaintances are real people or the narrative contrivances by an author far less masterful than our own Mr. waterguy.

Still this leaves so many mysteries. What is the source of the zombies, the mysterious antagonists of the story? What is the meaning of the numeral "1945" printed on the program's top bar? One can only feel that waterguy is operating on a level far above our understanding, manipulating and dealing with issues so far beyond our comprehension we cannot even conceptualize ourselves conceptualizing them. The worlds of games, art, music, literature, film, pornography, and yoga workout video cannot and will not ever be the same now that this has been unleashed upon the Earth. I can only bow down, partially due to my undying respect for a work far better than anything I will ever achieve and partially because the strength in my knees has long since left me after having experienced the full brunt of pleasure this game delivers.